Fine Again
by Ellie12
Summary: Another approach to what might have happed following Scarlett’s sudden selfenlightenment immediately after Melanie’s death.


Title: Fine Again

Author: Ellie

Summary: Another approach to what might have happed following Scarlett's sudden self-enlightenment immediately after Melanie's death.

Author's Note: Inspired by a discussion on the rapid unraveling of Scarlett and Rhett's relationship at the end of the novel on the GWTWFanFiction list, I wanted to examine one of the final, pivotal moments. The two initial passages of text are taken directly from the novel. Everything else is my own.

----

The carriage rocked to a standstill in front of the flat little house and Rhett handed her out, trembling, frightened, a sudden feeling of loneliness upon her, she clasped his arm.

"You're coming in, Rhett?"

"No," he said and got back into the carriage.

----

She patted Aunt Pitty and went swiftly by her to the front door, knowing if she stayed in this room another minute, her control would crack. She had to be alone. And she had to cry or her heart would break.

She stepped onto the dark porch and closed the door behind her and the moist night air was cool upon her face. The rain had ceased and there was no sound except for the occasional drip of water from the eaves. The world was wrapped in a thick mist, a faintly chill mist that bore on its breath the smell of a dying year. All the houses across the street were dark except one, the light from a lamp in the window, falling into the street, struggled feebly with the fog, golden particles floating in its rays. It was as if the whole world were enveloped in an unmoving blanket of gray smoke. And the whole world was still.

----

Scarlett rested her forehead against one of the pillars of the porch, feeling tears building, burning behind her eyes, when a faintly different ribbon of gray against the mist caught in her peripheral vision. Silently, she turned, resting her cheek against the weathered wood, and saw for the first time the barely visible silhouette of Rhett at the far end of the porch, facing away from her, smoke from his cigar wafting up to blend into the thick mist.

Wordlessly, she moved to sit next to him and rest her cheek on the soft shoulder of his fine suit. Only then did the tears begin to stream down her face. Rhett didn't move, merely continued to puff occasionally on the cigar as an afterthought.

"She's dead, then." It sounded obscenely loud, unduly harsh in the dark silence of early morning, and even more so for the utter lack of inflection in his voice.

With a sniffle and a stifled sob, she nodded against his shoulder, not trusting her voice, not even certain she could summon it. Her movement also brought her incrementally closer to Rhett, and in that moment she realized that this is where she wanted to be, where she needed to be. Her only hope was that Melanie had been right, that Rhett truly did love her, because right now, he was the only thing she knew she needed, or wanted.

"God rest her. A truly great lady." Rhett lowered his gaze and tossed the stub of his cigar away, the faint red ember disappearing into the darkness.

A sad, awkward silence reigned as Scarlett tried to gather her thoughts and her voice. "Thank you for staying," tumbled first from her lips, startling even her.

Rhett appeared taken by surprise as well, turning to face her, in the process forcing her to sit upright and face him. She'd never been able to read his face well, and it was impossible for her in this murky chiaroscuro. Choking back a sob, words fell unbidden from her lips. "I need you now." She bit her lip to keep from saying more, and looked down into the shadowy yard, tears continuing down her face.

For a moment, she thought that her words had been ensnared in the heavy mist, hadn't made their way to Rhett's ears. She was almost grateful, almost wished she could take them back if the night hadn't done so. This conversation, she knew, was more than she could handle tonight. This morning? She was no longer sure, the hours having blended together and added to her confusion.

Then he spoke, his voice as gentle as the hand that came to rest on her shoulder. "I know, Scarlett, I know. Let's go home now."

He helped her stand, his arm wrapping around her shivering frame. It was the first time in her recent memory that she wanted to be closer to him, nearly wrapped her own arms around him, trying to find some comfort in this cold, confusing darkness.

Overwrought, she could only stare mutely out the carriage window as they made their way home through empty streets, the rhythmic staccato of the horses' hooves fading eerily into the heavy silence. When they reached home, she allowed Rhett to help her inside like an exhausted child, and it was only when they paused at the front door that she took note of his face. In the growing golden light radiating from inside the house, she could see the weariness and strain writ clear. She could feel Rhett jump minutely when she reached up and traced a hand across his whiskered cheek and the tender, dark skin under his eyes.

"You…" she couldn't find the words, couldn't identify the sentiment she wanted, even in her own mind. She only knew that he needed something, as badly as she needed his kindness now.

"We'll both feel better after a good rest," Rhett recovered smoothly. "Tomorrow, we can talk."

No more words were exchanged as they entered the house and made their way to their respective bedrooms.

----

It was still dark when Scarlett startled awake from a fitful slumber, heart racing and near tears. For a moment, she was unsure where she was, and then the events of the prior evening came tumbling back to her consciousness.

On unsteady legs, without a wrapper, her footsteps fell silently on the hallway carpet as she made her way to Rhett's door. Scarlett didn't know what she was doing, only that she was troubled and wanted Rhett. She rapped softly, threatening tears starting to spill over, before opening the door and stepping into the darkened room. He sat, half-dressed, in a chair, and had turned away from the empty window to watch as she quietly crossed the room.

Only when she reached his side did she stop, vision too blurred by tears and darkness to see his face, unsure of what she should do. Rhett made the decision for her, finally moving to reach out and draw her down onto his lap, cradling her as he had after her nightmares. Her arms embraced him, clinging to him as her tears soaked through his half-buttoned shirt.

After a few moments, relaxing under the feel of his hands stroking her back and smoothing her hair, Scarlett composed herself. Raising her head, she did something she couldn't remember the last time she'd done. She kissed him on the cheek.

In doing so, her momentary surprise at her own action was quickly overshadowed by the salty taste of his dried tears. "You were crying," she whispered.

"Yes," he said thickly, not willing to meet her eyes, even in the dark room.

"We've lost a lot this year." Her embrace tightened as she tried to provide him with some of the comfort she always found when he strong arms surrounded her.

"Maybe too much." He didn't return her embrace, but allowed his hands to remain steady on her back, unmoving, waiting to see where this dangerous conversation was headed.

"No," she replied emphatically, sitting up, her hands firmly clasping his shoulders. "I thought I'd lost too much once, just after the war. I'm not proud of how I managed to get by, but I did. We can now."

He finally met her eyes, glittering darkly in the faint light coming through the window. "You came to me for help then, too, and I couldn't provide it. I don't know if I can now."

"But you believed I would be all right then, didn't you? Even without your help…looking back, I don't think even then you'd have really let my family be turned out of our home." There was a tone of revelation in her voice, as if she was just realizing it for the first time herself.

"No, I checked on you as soon as I was released."

"Maybe I just needed that little assurance, knowing you were there to fall back on, but believing I could get by on my own. Though I don't know now that I went about it in the best way possible…"

"So we're to cast one another to the wolves and hope for the best, then?" Rhett's tone was once more hard and bitter.

"Heavens, no, Rhett! That's not what I meant at all! What I mean is that maybe it's just enough to believe that we can get by, to believe in each other's ability to come through this."

"That's an awful lot of blind faith for two business people such as ourselves to accept, my pet." The hard tone remained in his voice, but it was tempered by a hint of wry amusement.

Scarlett, momentarily flustered, toyed with the collar of his shirt. "But when have either of us ever failed at something we set our minds to? Some of the things I've done haven't been the best, but I've made up my mind and done them and been damned with the consequences." Warily, one finger found its way inside his shirt, and she traced a faint, ridged scar across his pectorals. "You've succeeded against some hard odds, too."

His hand covered hers, stilling her cool fingers against his warm skin. "Are you ready to commit to us, now? Struggling together, instead of against each other?"

She dropped her forehead down to rest against their combined hands. "I can't struggle against you anymore. I'm too tired. I just want it to be like when you used to wake me up from my nightmares and hold me and make everything fine again." There was more than a hint of childlike innocence in her voice, and she could do nothing to stop her voice from cracking at the end.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could do that." His free hand slipped around her waist, pulling her close.

"Last spring—was it just last spring?—you said we could go away, start over. Could we still, after Melly's funeral?"

"I can think of nothing I'd like better than a fresh start with you, Scarlett. Frankly, I don't care if we decide to move away from here permanently."

She shook her head, almost imperceptibly, against his chest. "Not permanently. I'll always want to come back to Tara. And to visit…" she trailed off, unable to finish, to list the names of all those she'd lost in less than a decade.

"Shh," he soothed. "I understand. We can work out the details later. Let's try to get some sleep now. The sun's not risen yet, and we've got a lot ahead of us."

Rhett lifted her easily and they settled into the bed, his body cradling hers. Scarlett felt for the first time in a long while, that things might just be fine again one day.

End


End file.
